Why do we fight and argue?

Where do fights, arguments, and disputes come from?

Who does not want to know the answer to that question. Where do fights come from? Why do people break out into fights? What are the causes of disputes and quarrels among people? Why do people argue?

The answers are found right here in the book of James chapter 4.

First of all, they do happen, and no one can deny that. Secondly, they happen from time to time among Christians, in families, between spouses, among siblings, and between parents with their children, and vice versa. They also can happen in churches, and in houses of congress, and on street corners, in neighborhoods, at your place of employment, in fact, just about anywhere you have people, you can, and will have a fight of some type.

The answer to where they come from has to do with inside of a person, or in their nature if you will. God explains to us that they come from our "desires for pleasure that war in our members"

James 4:1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

These desires, or lusts, meaning to please yourself, they are at war in your members. There is an internal conflict that goes on, on the inside of a person's life. Here's a little more explanation about this warring within.

James 4:2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

You lust, and do not have, you murder, ( or hate within your heart ) and you covet, are jealous, and you cannot get what you want. You fight and war. But, James says, you do not have because you do not ask. ( that last statement is a partial explanation as to how to avoid fights and arguments )

Some must have been arguing that they were praying, they were asking God for the things they wanted. But, James explains that they were not asking or praying in the right way. They were praying for God to give them what they wanted, so that they could do what they wanted, to spend it upon their pleasures.

However, the purpose of prayer is not to get God to give me what I want, but rather to find out what He wants. "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" Matt 6:10 as given by Jesus about the Lord's prayer, explaining to us how to pray. So, the misuse of prayer is another reason that is connected to this whole matter of why ( christians fight )

Another glaring reason is given in the next portion of James.

James 4:4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

James was describing these believers as spiritual adulterers. They had left their loyal relationship with God and had taken up with a lover, in this case, "the world" Or everything apart from the ways of God. By the way, the world is described in helpful detail in 1st John 2.

But, being a friend of the world puts you at odds with the Lord, it makes one an enemy of God. So, James says, if you want to be a friend of the world, one of the consequences is, that you at the same time become and enemy of God.

So, each action in this case, has an additional action, or consequence.

That's plenty for today. We will pick it up tomorrow, and start looking at the solution to fights and wars among ourselves. Let's pray.

Lord Jesus, You never did what we do. You never fought with anyone, and in You, are the answers to our problems. You are the God man, who wants to make us act more like You, and behave like You.

Thank You for the solution to our problems, our sins, and our mistakes, being in You.

Application/Promise.

1. Do not sink into condemnation if you have been fighting.

2. God knew about your sins and problem when He saved you.

3. God saves imperfect people, and He works to change them.

4. God Himself and drawing near to Him are the answers.

5. Please read the rest of this 4th chapter in James.

6. Get ready for grace to be given to you.

7. Grace is what we need.

8. Grace is what He will give you.