"SHARING HOPE THROUGH SCRIPTURE FOR HURTING MARRIAGES"

"SHARING HOPE THROUGH SCRIPTURE FOR HURTING MARRIAGES"

1st Peter 3:7. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Some explanatory thoughts, application and a prayer:

1. Peter is clearly teaching us here about husbands and wives. It's a great, and helpful blessing from the Lord that we do have His Word on almost any area of our lives that need encouragement and guidance, and this one simple verse really provides that. It's directed towards the husband, and it explains to a very large degree how he is to live with his wife, in such a way that He is pleasing God, and investing in his marriage to make it the way it ought to be.

2. So, let's break this down into it's very obvious parts, and understand what they mean, and how they apply.

(1) Husbands are to dwell with their wives with understanding. Now, what does this mean? Knowledge comes from a word that means, to appreciate, be aware, become learned, conscious, to know about, realize, not be unaware. Having moral wisdom, that is seen in right living, is another way the word is used.  Simply put treat her with understanding. The dictionary, defines understanding as comprehension, to perceive, be aware.  A man needs to know his wife's life, her needs, her wishes, etc.

(2) The next thing a husband is to do, along with being aware of his wife, understanding her needs, is as Peter says, "giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel" So, there are two things here, giving honor to her, and then this phrase, "the weaker vessel" To give honor, means, that just in the same way a wife is expected to give honor to her husband, the husband is to give honor to his wife.

Honor means, price, precious, valuing, deference, and reverence. It seems to me that husbands have a tendency to just blow right by their wives, but what's being said here, is to slow down, stop, think, and then give real attention to your wife, she is precious, defer to her, and be very respectful to her. This will bring great appreciation towards you, from her.

The weaker vessel expression, is referencing the simple and basic physical differences between a man and his wife. Men are made by God to be stronger physically, and women are made by God not to be as strong physically. Therefore, a man who is dwelling with his wife with understanding, needs to be aware of her physical limitations if you will, and then make sure that he is responding to that reality, and doing whatever it takes to treat her with respect and help.

(3) Lastly, here's what Peter says, "and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
God wants the husband to know that he and his wife are heirs together of the grace of life. ( now there is an assumption here that both the husband and the wife are saved ) in which case, both have become adopted into God's family and stand in the grace of God, and have access to His wonderful grace. You both are God's children. You are not only married, but are also both members of God's family. You are in a very real sense, a brother and sister in Christ.

You're both Christians. But, here's the very important point, and it's right at the end of the verse, "that your prayers may not be hindered." Now, this could mean, that if the husband treats his wife the way that he ought to his prayers won't be hindered, or frustrated, or cut off, and not effective, or it could mean, that it's hard for a husband and wife to pray together if the husband is not treating his wife the way that he should. She will not really want to pray with him, and in that sense, the prayers are frustrated.

3. One man, once said something like this. "Men, do not treat your wife like she is an A&W Root Beer Mug, but rather treat her as you would a fine crystal and expensive drinking glass, the kind you use only for very special occasions. In other words, be sensitive to her, and treat her with respect and be kind, gentle, caring, pay attention to her, figure out what she needs today, and then seek to meet those needs. You are there to serve her, she is not there to serve you in that sense. Your leadership is expressed according to God by being a servant. The thing is, that if you really do treat her the way God wants you to treat her, guess what,  she will love you and want to take care of you and actually serve you. But, the man is called to set the pace, and set the example.

A prayer:

Lord, many things in this life are easier said then done, and this may well be one that is right up there near the top of the list. But, it's from You, and it's the way of living that You have designed, and it's what is pleasing to You. Father for the men reading this, we freely admit, that we need constant help in remembering what it is that we are to do, and how we are to act. And, for the wives reading this, they are no doubt saying, "yay, yes, thank you, let's do it this way, etc, " Because they know down deep inside that this is the way of the Lord. So, Father, we look to You to bring Your grace into our lives, and we want to be those who put Your Word into action, please give us wisdom, and patience, and a steadfast determination to live to please You Lord, in Your name we pray, amen.

Pastor Bob Grenier
Calvary Chapel Visalia.